Dirty Haikus
Dirty Haikus
Jane has won 3 Golden Dick Trophies (and technically 5 battles) in the epic poem showdown at the underground art fightclub known as Tourette's Without Regrets. WARNING: The following poetry is horribly filthy, offensive, insulting and accurate.
4th of July
you promised freedom
she prefers British tea bags
to your John Hancock
Nathan’s hot dog eating contest
Joey Chesnut wins
but your mom could beat him on
any fucking day
you get horny when
fireworks explode cause your
Uncle Sam touched you
you and Ben Franklin
share some similarities
namely syphilis
Beast Crawl
Sent me a dick pic
promised me a big pickle
looks like a gherkin
finger up the butt
at least that’s what your boy thought
it was just your dick
tell Obamacare
women don’t need birth control
your face will do fine
*honk honk*
ass like a wee car
clowns flock to it with cocks out
so many fit in
hubble telescope
houston we have a problem
we can’t find his dick
August vs Jesse Hett
stuffed with bearded dicks
describes both outside lands and
your mother’s pussy
You’re so white and bland
You look like Jeb Bush jizzed on
an old ritz cracker
your voice is soothing
but nothing puts girls to sleep
like you fucking them
Boys wish they could stop
Fucking your mom, but they’re trapped
under her fat ass
they call you “greased pole”
no strippers will touch your dick
it’s too dangerous
your hometown knows your
mom’s back is stickier than
Donald Trump’s toup-tape
gentrification
when a bright white dick slides in
to your brown butthole
gays call you Jim Beam
as soon as they drink you in
they get whiskey dick
tell Obamacare
women don’t need birth control
your face will do fine
rescued by copters
a girl went missing in your
cavernous pussy